Drinking in Boston: The Rules of Lunch

Everyone has their own okay-to-start-drinking time. For some, it's not until game time (wouldn't want to be too drunk to miss the first pitch). For others, it's over their Cheerios (wouldn't want to be too sober for the break of day). We don't judge, we don't mock. However, we may poke gentle fun over our IPAs at lunch. And this is allowed, which brings us to the crux of today's beer lecture: How to Drink Beer at Lunch.

You would think this would be the most fun and easily accomplished portion of the meal, but rather, it's a privilege misused with startling frequency. Here are a few rules when drinking at the noon hour:

1. Do not repeatedly proclaim, loud enough for the entire restaurant/bar to hear, that you are drinking beer on a business lunch. Not only does it automatically make you exponentially less hip rather than cooler, we also don't care.

2. Do not make business calls at the table, or really anywhere else, during lunch. Respect your beer, for god's sake!

3. Do not talk about intimate emotional or relationship problems. Hearing phrases such as "inner landscape" make some of us want to spew our beers out in disgust, hopefully onto your plate of food, but more likely onto our own suits, causing more anger and stabby stares aimed in your general direction.

4. Do not buy a soda in a pub and expect to be taken seriously by the rest of us.

Photo by James Cridland on Flickr, used with Creative Commons license.