Live-Blogging the Presidential Debate at Ole Miss

10:36: Conclusion.

10:35: Mutual disses/closing statements begin. But where is the end?

10:34: Greta the Wundercat displays more interest in the debates than do the humans in the room. Kittah paws the television, the Bostonists do not.

10:32: Everybody hates on George W. Bush. Including the present Bostonists.

10:28: The Bostonists experience 9/11 shock and awe fatigue. For several years now.

10:26: First mention of 9/11. Again, what took them so long!

10:25: The network busts out the split screen, so we can see the candidates snicker at one another while the other tries to sound presidential.

10:22: The Bostonist begin experiencing blogging fatigue, hope to outsource their efforts.

10:20: After thoughtful contemplation of the letters in Putin's ocular regions, the Bostonists wonder how many eyes Putin has.

10:18: Obama informs us that we shouldn't just stare into somebody's eyes and expect them to be faithful. McCain apparently sees the letters K, G, and B in Putin's eyes. McCain must have some crazy floaters going on. Either that, or Putin has some fancy new contacts.

10:15: Is Obama parsing words or isn't he? The Bostonists have trouble parsing the significance of this verbal exchange.

10:13: War of the Kissinger quotes is totally on!

10:11: Obama says "axis of evil." Quite a linguistic throwback there, Senator! Very 2001!

10:08: McCain doesn't want to sit across the table with Iran. Maybe he should invite Iran to sit in his lap instead (with, of course some preconditions, because true love waits)?

10:05: Both candidates manage to correctly pronounce the word "nuclear."

10:04: McCain discusses the existential threat of Iran. We break out the ouija board to channel Sartre, and also suggest he listen to some U2. Also, because this segment is entirely about Iran, we bust out some more brews.

10:03: The moderator praises the candidates for knowing how to share. They have each used the same amount of time!

9:59: McCain claims to have connected emotionally with a constituent. Let's wait for Obama to top wearing the bracelet of a fallen soldier.

9:56: Obama references songs about the Beach Boys Hit, "Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran."

9:55: Obama says we're going to take Pakistan out. I'm sorry, Obama, but LL Cool J's Mama already told him to do this in 1991.

9:50: Commanders on the ground, Senator Obama? Shouldn't they be in space with the Chinese and our high school students?

9:47: We watch the cats play with their laser toy on the floor, because we are about to curl up into balls on the floor and weep. Here is a brief break, people: lazer, lazer, pew pew pew!

9:43: McCain says Obama is a "chairperson," rather than the "chairman" of a Senate committee. It's nice to see McCain caring about sexism (uhhhh sort of) now that he has a woman as his VP pick.

9:41: McCain secretly fantasizes about what his 2008 campaign would be like if our country hadn't invaded Iraq.

9:40: First mention of Iran! We take double swigs, because the candidates made us wait so long.

9:37: Obama talks about "this orgy of spending." Apparently he's got a thing for pork as well.

9:36: The Bostonists (okay, the person typing this, actually) encourage you to send gifts, including foodstuffs and cold hard cash, to the residence of Fangula Fangela.

9:34: The first mention of terrorism. McCain scores! What took them so long?

9:33: Obama notes that we shouldn't use a hatchet when we need a scalpel. The Bostonists will keep that in mind next time they perform collective brain surgery.

9:32: The moderator tries to figure out what they are all getting at in this debate. Like, in real world terms, plzkthx?

9:31: We hope that Cindy and Michelle are fist fighting backstage. We hope it shows up on YouTube.

9:28: Obama observes that China is now a space power, and our high school students need to keep up. Bostonists note that although they are no longer in high school, they would like space power. Especially fifth dimension interplanetary travel space power.

9:26: The moderator asks what these men want. The debates might just get a bit more saucy.

9:23: "It was festooned with Christmas tree ornaments" - John McCain. McCain is all about the out of control metaphors this evening. Keep it up. For freedom. For faith. For America.

9:21: McCain has a pork fetish.

9:20: McCain also wants to help you, personally.

9:18: Obama wants to help you, personally.

9:14: McCain says that the best days of America are ahead of us. The Roman Empire folks probably were telling themselves that towards the end.

9:12: McCain and Obama refuse to directly address one another, try to use the moderator as their go-between.

9:11: It is hard to blog and beer at the same time. Also, the second mention of Main Street occurs. We decide to drink when we hear this phrase as well.

9:10: McCain follows Obama's lead.

9:09: Obama initiates the process of taking credit for every government initiative that polls have shown the voters are in favor of this fifteen minutes.

9:08: We like the moderator's tie more than McCain's tie. We like Obama's tie the best.

9:07: We've already had some booze. Just stating the obvious here.

9:06: McCain informs us that Senator Kennedy still has incurable malignant brain tumor. (The Bostonists encourage those with political donation fatigue to donate to other, perhaps even more worthwhile, causes.)

9:05: Obama confirms that seven hundred billion dollars is a "lot of money." Srsly?

9:02: Obama starts talking. We hope the senators get into a fistfight.

9:00: We decide to drink when the moderator mentions the economy or terrorism.

8:59: The Bostonists commit to drink every time Obama or McCain mentions the economy or terrorism (this includes the present wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, as well as a possible war with Iran). Oh, and also every time they promise to bring change to Washington, two-party style. The Bostonists pray to the zero or more higher powers that each individual may or may not believe in that spell check will offer some journalistic accountability where our motor skills may fail.

A few Bostonists drink in absentia at the Belgian Beer Fest.

The Bostonists welcome suggestions for other debate-related games, including ones that involve remaining sober, as a metaphor for the sobering times in which we live.