Boston News Net: Live Election Night Party
Tonight, 8 pm-last call
ImprovBoston Theater, Cambridge
Tickets $20 / $15 Students or general admission after 10 pm
You've followed the campaigns. You played your Palin Bingo. You tracked Tina Fey's every performance during the final weeks of the campaigns. You tried - in vain - to get tickets to either The Colbert Report or The Daily Show. You're ready for Election Night, but you're looking for the right way to celebrate - or mourn, depending on your political stance and tonight's outcome - the culmination of democracy at work. What's a Bostonian to do?
Meet JR Strauss. As the face of Boston News Net, Strauss will serve as the emcee of the political party taking place tonight at ImprovBoston's Central Square theater. Strauss took a few moments during his busy Election Night preparation to chat with Bostonist about tonight's festivities, his take on local matters, and what he would have done if he'd been able to boot Tom Brokaw out of the debate moderator's seat.
Many radio and television broadcasters these days speak of preparing for their chance to cover a historic moment and how they're going to call it - what the take away quote they provide will be.
Depends on who it is. Brian Williams will probably say something pithy like "The long journey that these two candidates have taken across the political landscape of the American map has finally come to an end." Anderson Cooper will stare into the camera and get deep, like "We've made history tonight, as candidates, as individuals, as a nation." And Lou Dobbs will just mutter something unintelligible through his Admiral Akbar jowls until someone shoots him with a dart and drags him back to the Mr. Potato Head lab where they found him.
Have you been preparing for Tuesday evening, coming up with ideas of possible lines that will immortalize Boston News Net coverage of the event?
We've been working on the show for weeks. As I write this, I'm watching a dance piece called "Tapaquiddick". And even though popular wisdom suggests that we shouldn't be counting chickens before they're hatched, we've put everything into a Bob Barr victory. America needs a leader who reminds them of the uncle who hugged too long. Harpoon donated enough beer to numb any embarrassment this decision might cause.
A catchphrase if Obama wins, a different one for McCain?
Obama: Enjoy it while it lasts.
McCain: We're as surprised as you are.
Which of the Massachusetts state issues are you most interested in following over the course of the night? What is it about that issue that you find most interesting?
Everyone is talking about the tax initiative and the decriminalization of marijuana, but you don't hear much about 3 because its so boring. People have a hard time feeling bad for greyhounds - they're creepy and, frankly, rude. If it was a cuter animal, like a puppy or a baby or something, people would be more inclined to care.
Hypothetical situation: you are moderating the Brokaw Debate and you can set three ground rules that Obama and McCain are expected to follow. What are the rules you set forth?
1) No touching of audience members. Alternatively, if you need to go into the gallery and pretend you're a normal guy, you must have a hand on someone at all times. This would obviously have favored Barr, as Obama looks like he's disgusted by contact and McCain has lost the sensation of touch. That's why Cindy is scowling all the time.
2) There has to be a talent portion, something that allows the talents of each man to come to the surface, like draining a buzzer-beating three-pointer or enduring years of VC interrogation.
3) Two men enter, one man leaves.
What should someone attending tonight's festivities know before walking through the door of ImprovBoston?
There's an election. Otherwise our jokes won't make a lot of sense.
How does it feel to know that you will be providing event attendees the setting for what could be one of the most highly-anticipated (and perhaps historic) election night returns in recent memory? Are you feeling the pressure and, touching upon a question often asked of the candidates themselves, how will you spend the beginning of the day?
I feel like whenever you have an event that involves strangers drinking with each other, you're supposed to imply that there's a chance people will get laid. Who knows, maybe people will be so moved by the democratic process that love will be in the air. So I hope people will have election sex that leads to a happy, VD-free memory - I mean, we didn't get t-shirts, so they should get something to take home.
Considering that I probably won't be getting much sleep between now and Sunday, my election day started about 12 hours ago. So I guess I'll be spending the day trying to stay conscious. And VOTING. Hopefully a few times.
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