Big Red: MBTA Plays Metro Matchmaker

"We made room," the MBTA is proclaiming in advertising for its brand new seatless car approach to subway travel. Boston's transportation system will take out seats in Red Line train cars, seemingly with the thought process that riders are so content with the cattle car approach to rush-hour commuting that cramming more people into the T each day will make people even happier.

One would never want to be guilty of saying, "Not on my T line," but at the same point, it could be argued that Red Line passengers are getting the short end of the stick. The expansive T line, extending from Alewife all the way down to Braintree/Ashmont, is the one that's going to leave riders standing the entire way. Add to the fact that Red Line passengers on the northern leg of the line recently enjoyed shuttling from Kendall/MIT to Park Street (the memory of getting off at Park Street still makes us shudder) so as to prevent us from falling into the Charles River and we're starting to wonder about what the MBTA has against Cambridge and Somerville. Why not test this bad boy out on a line known for stops set up in what feels like 30-second increments? It makes more sense.

The new name for this pilot program, however, tells us what the T really has in mind. "Big Red" leads to one association, right? The gum. Which of course brings to mind the "Big Red" jingle of old: "Kiss a little longer, stay close a little longer, hold tight a little longer, longer with Big Red!"

Of course! The MBTA believes that busy Red Line passengers don't have enough time in their busy schedules to get a little lovin' going on. By gently nudging the elbow of another passenger into each of our backs, Charlie is simply encouraging us to take out our iPod buds, put down the book we won't have room to read, and get busy with some good ol' fashioned PDA.

Thank goodness for the MBTA, realizing that you can't miss true love when it's staring you in the face from about two inches away. We will be watching to see if this results in a spike in Missed Connections on Craigslist. Or if the cynics of the Red Line start staging a sit-in. It could go either way.

Image of seat-free car from the MBTA documentation, hosted on Universal Hub