Downpour in Boston

A torrential downpour in Boston this morning swept Swan Boats from the Boston Common into the Public Gardens. The rain amassed many feet, up to the bust of the George Washington statue in what had become the Public Swamp. All sorts of invasive species, including nutrias and tourists, followed in the wake of the cascading waters. The force of the waters sank several of the Swan Boats.

"We rescued the tourists last," admitted a local official, who spoke on the condition of anonymity. "Considering the state of the worldwide economy, we doubted the city would lose much money if any of the out-of-towners drowned."

"Also," she added, "the nutrias were just cuter"