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This Week In Booze: If You Build It
Randazza Served and Pwnd Glen Beck in 2009
Let's throw out the necessary splash of cold water first. The Patriots aren't going to the playoffs unless Mia/NYJ or the Ravens flop. Which isn't impossible. But it's out of their hands, and even if they keep doing like they did yesterday and steamrolling collections of stiffs like the Oakland Raiders, it may not come to anything in the end. And if that's the case, we'll toast Bill and Matt for getting this team as far as they did, and congratulate the rest of America on their dream of a collection of crippling Patriots injuries coming true.
But in the meantime...that was fun, wasn't it? Matt Cassel recovered from an emotional roller coaster of a sad week, Lamont Jordan and Randy Moss got to show their old teammates and "fans" how much fun football can be when you're not playing for a cheap, senile shell of an evil dictator, and everyone on offense got to have some fun, as the Pats carved through Oakland for a 49-26 rout.
Some highlights: Cassel threw for 218 yards and 4 TDs. Randy Moss caught two of them, and saluted the Oakland crowd in vintage Randy-style. Jordan and Sammy Morris plowed through what, objectively, was about the worst defense we've ever seen at an NFL level. And the Patriots spoiled the one moment of Raider hope: when Oakland's Justin Miller ran back a kickoff for a TD (and did you catch the announcers saying special teams were the Raiders' best chance to score?), Ellis Hobbs ran the next one right back, too.
So let's face facts. We need to root for the Seahawks and Chiefs next week. They play the Jets and Miami, respectively. And we need both of our divisional foes to lose next week, because if only one of them does, do you think either Mangini or Parcells will go full-tilt to beat the other one, knowing that doing so could help the Pats get back in? Yeah, neither do we. Failing that, we'll also be rooting for (shudder) Dallas on Saturday; if they beat the Ravens, the Pats reclaim the inside track for the second wild-card spot and a likely first round game against either the aforementioned Jets or Dolphins. Of course, the Pats have to take care of Arizona and Buffalo to make any of this even matter. (We haven't yet heard of any of those wonderful scenarios like, "Minnesota can still get in, if Tampa Bay beats Chicago by more than 34 points and if Washington and Carolina tie 7-7." We love those, though.)
Just a heads-up: if you read on the Internet that Tom Brady's knee injury was permanent and he's never coming back, it's a lie. The unnamed orthopedic surgeon who pronounced Tom finished hasn't cited his sources, and the Pats and medical people were quick to rebut. Remember, the Internet has also told us that the bald eagle is a popular sandwich meat and that they found the body of Bigfoot, so always double-check your sources, kids.
The Celtics have their motivation all set for tonight: Utah was the only team that didn't lose at the Garden last year, taking the win in their only visit 110-92. Jazz coach Jerry Sloan recently celebrated his 20th anniversary in charge of the team, which means he's been coaching since Glen Davis was literally a big baby. The Celtics have bad memories of that game, their worst beating of the year. (Also, scroll down to the bottom of that column to note that Phil Jackson is already bellyaching about how unfair life is that the Lakers have to play the C's at home on Christmas, two days after LA comes home from a road trip. Nobody pre-emptively whines like Phil.)
Photo by George Nikitin/AP.
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Phil Jackson has no class.
Go Cowboys!
It's only a lie if the person who said it knows for a fact that it's not true. Frankly, right now, nobody knows whether Brady is done or not, and nobody will know until he plays a game. Even that won't be a final answer, since he could endure complications that would affect his career, or shorten it, even if he does manage to ever play again.
What I think you mean to say is that the report does not come from a credible, knowledgeable source, that it may be wrong, or that it is not definitive. About the only thing that can be said is that it is not true that the organization has officially announced that Brady's career is over, because they haven't announced that. This is entirely separate from the fact of whether his career is, in fact, over, or whether it will end as a result of this injury and the complications that followed it.
However, that's distinct from a lie. The statement may not even be wrong-- and in fact it is likely the Patriots would deny it even if it were true, for obvious reasons.
Ah, the difference between a "lie" and "bullshit." You learn something new every day on the internet.
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lie%5B4%5D
lie
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English lige, lie, from Old English lyge; akin to Old High German lugī, Old English lēogan to lie
Date: before 12th century
1 a: an assertion of something known or believed by the speaker to be untrue with intent to deceive
b: an untrue or inaccurate statement that may or may not be believed true by the speaker
2: something that misleads or deceives
3: a charge of lying
since we don't know the answer for sure, i'd say that asserting brady's career is over is at least misleading.