The Metro: Now With Even Less News

Now the Metro features an obscure Cleveland Browns second-stringer selling us a miracle drug called Trigosamine®. The product a ppears in a two-page spread suspiciously similar to HeatSurge's. Maybe that's because they're made by the same company: Universal Media Syndicate, not to be confused with Universal Press Syndicate, which is the company that brings you much more valuable content (like Ziggy). Not content to merely create misleading ads, UMS is actually part of the same corporation that distributes those Amish electric fireplaces, among other suspect products.

The more one looks into UMS (and its owner, Arthur Middleton Capital Holdings), the more sordid the situation gets. Let's just look briefly at the claims made about Trigosamine®, which is sold as an over-the-counter drug to "relieve joint discomfort." Dr. Joseph Dietz, PhD is the only expert quoted in the ad, and he works for the company selling the drug. Professional tip: always be skeptical of a doctor who uses both the "Dr." and the "PhD." Also, note that every other sentence in the ad is marked by a footnote reading, "THESE STATEMENTS HAVE NOT BEEN EVALUATED BY THE FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION. THIS PRODUCT IS NOT INTENDED TO DIAGNOSE, TREAT, CURE OR PREVENT ANY DISEASE."

Supposedly, there has been a double-blinded, placebo-controlled clinical trial with 54 participants showing that subjects taking Trigosamine® "experienced a statistically significant increase in the distance they were able to walk." This mystery study does not appear to exist, or if it does, it wasn't published in any major peer-reviewed publications. The individual ingredients (glucosamine, chondroitin, and hyaluronate) in Trigosamine®—which are readily available in stores and online—have been evaluated in a number of trials, and found to be lacking. They may provide a small amount of relief, at best, and even then there's been no solid proof that they're better than a placebo.

So, even though that one quarterback's mom once took this pill and maybe it helped her out, you might want to alleviate your joint pain in other ways. Like, by sitting next to a nice, warm, electric fire. Made by the Amish! And don't believe everything that you read. Unless you read it on Bostonist.