Please note: this is fiction
Boston (or a certain portion thereof) is abuzz with the opening of the new House of Blues on Landsdowne Street, which if you'll recall we were unable to appreciate due to certain screw-ups during the sneak preview.
Actor, comedian, and Canadian Dan Aykroyd is a partner of the chain, and so Jonathon Soroff interviewed him in the latest Improper Bostonian. These days, pretty much any interview with Aykroyd is comedy gold, thanks to his weird beliefs in alien visitors, ghosts, and crystal skulls with magical healing powers possibly originating from the lost civilization of Atlantis.
No, seriously, please click the previous link and watch the unintentionally hilarious sales video, which writer and Brookline native John Hodgman described as such:
NOT SINCE Dick Van Patten's Hobo Chili for Dogs have I confronted a product so strange and marvelously implausible that I feel robbed somehow of what might have been a beautiful, sublime joke, were it not all so undeniably real.
In the brief Improper interview Aykroyd mentions his interest and belief in ghosts and psychics, but the best quote has got to be this: "David Blaine has done a lot of work, and he really does levitate."
Were this sentence not sandwiched between other straight-faced assertions that everyone is a little bit psychic, it would be completely and utterly unbelievable that anyone over the age of 12 could think something so unabashedly ridiculous. David Blaine is a magician. You can visit a local magic store and buy the same magic tricks he uses, and even visit a local electronics store and by a camera that does the same camera tricks. David Blaine does not actually float several inches off the ground. Also? There are no such things as unicorns. Sorry, kids.
So, if you're heading to the House of Blues this weekend, you may want to remember to bring plenty of money (for bribing bouncers to let you in when the club exceeds capacity) and an ancient Gypsy talisman (for helping Dan Aykroyd perform a sacred ritual to cleanse the place of the ghosts of Avaland Fridays past). We encourage all local street magicians to hang around Lansdowne this weekend in the hopes of catching Mr. Aykroyd’s attention with a well-timed psychic routine. We bet he’s a big tipper.
Image from Barnes & Noble
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