Harvard Library Holocaust

The Harvard Crimson reports that the Harvard College Library plans to sacrifice its staff to the Great God Endowment Collapse. After discovering that it will have to slash $12 million from its budget, the HCL has decided that layoffs are unavoidable and that surviving staff will be moved around the library like the skeleton crew of a damaged Battlestar. We can only hope that the line item for Harvard Film Archive director Haden Guest's coiffure remains undisturbed, lest Cambridge lose the secret source of its great power. [Harvard Crimson]