Where Everybody Gets Laid Off

Eddie Doyle is sorta Sam Malone, except somewhat older and endowed with a reasonably rad mustache. But even fine facial hair couldn't save him from this economy: the longtime Cheers bartender has been laid off like millions of other Americans. The sixty-something Doyle had been at Cheers for almost 35 years and was known for holding charity events at the bar, where he also met his wife. Everyone laments the loss, but an insider speculates that Doyle's longevity may have made him too costly for the company. When you can hire college students who've never seen Cheers to pour beers for a quarter of the price, the value of knowing everybody's name pales a little bit—but at the same time, that's what makes a bar worth going to. It's a loss for the community, but we hope Doyle's smiling face will still be seen around town. And if he needs a new job, maybe he can go into moustache consultation.