BU Students Evacuated After Dorm Oil Spill

Hundreds of BU students were displaced last night following a tragic oil spill in the Miles Standish Student Preserve. Rescue crews were dispatched to the area immediately in order to rescue as many students as possible, with volunteers scrubbing oil-soaked students in makeshift baths hurriedly constructed on Comm Ave.

Because students rely upon their bodies' natural oils as well as various cosmetics in order to attract mates and survive the harsh Boston winters, the heavy-grade oil spill could cause mass devastation to the delicate ecosystem found within Myles Standish. While the population of BU students has flourished and is currently stable at 30,000, the Myles Standish variety currently only numbers around 600, which most biologists suggest is not enough to withstand a major environmental disaster.

At the scene last night, biologist Heather Valdez was hopeful that thanks to the quick response, they may be able to save the majority of the population. "The real test will come in a few weeks during the spring migration home," she said. "We just have to hope that their parents will recognize them and still do their laundry."