The true story of Good Friday by Fang Friends

Today is Good Friday, a holiday very important to the Christian calendar. The holiday commemorates the unusual events following a feast at the home of Unconscious Pilot, a man living in a heavily tranqilized state after several tours in Iraq, and known for passing off tasty catered food from Friday's Chicken as his own. After the appetizers, twelve individuals witness a cooked chicken come to life, dance about in a circle of flames to the strains of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia," and fall back on its platter. Next to the chicken on a palm frond, a chocolate egg appears. The guests chalk up the experience to weird fermentation in the bread products, which have caused outbreaks of mass hysteria in the past. Or, perhaps he was trying to hook them on a new drug for extra income in lieu of his inadequate veteran's benefits. Regardless, the rest of the guests abstain from partaking of the meal, leaving Unconscious Pilot to eat for himself the chicken and the chocolate egg.

Two days later, Unconscious Pilot passes the remains of the meal through his bowels. During that process of bodily function, Unconscious Pilot sees a figure float up from a nearby sewer. At the same time, a white horse gallops by and leaps into the air. The rising figure of the man jumps up on the horse, and they rise into heaven.