Harvard Prof to Quadlings: "Walk the Frickin' Seven Minutes"

You don't need a Harvard degree to marvel at lassitude. Mollycoddle students living in Harvard's Quad issued a plaintive wail when they learned that late night shuttle bus service from their remote redoubt to Harvard Yard would become a casualty of Harvard's endowment collapse. Without the shuttle buses, the so-called "quadlings" will have to walk a staggering distance of less than a mile to get to the university's main campus.

Students claim that their safety will be at issue when the shuttle bus service, which currently runs until 3:45 a.m., stops running at 1:30 a.m. Sunday through Wednesday.

Harvard government professor Steven R. Levitsky believes that the complaints were motivated by a different factor. "Students need to walk the frickin’ seven minutes from the Quad to the Yard," he told the Crimson, adding, "Lazy students."