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Randazza Served and Pwnd Glen Beck in 2009
Psychic storefront in Downtown Crossing (via Wikipedia)
Here's the story in an nutshell: a mysterious man with a St. Bernard is seen around Hingham, and one day only the dog appears, soaking wet and staring soulfully at a lake. Suspecting that the man has gone missing, the police investigate. Since no one knows who the man is, they check a local pet-friendly motel. A woman staying there says she had two visions involving the mysterious man's demise: one in which the cops should check the city of Quincy (near a shamrock!) and one in which they should check the woods near the lake.
The cops do not check Quincy or its shamrocks since the city is 27 square miles and a third of the population is Irish. They do check the woods using cadaver-seeking dogs. They find absolutely nothing.
Therefore, there was actually no "psychic" in the story, since a person with paranormal powers would be slightly more likely to give useful information. There does appear to have been a delusional bat in the story, though. Also, there was no "help" given since the police wasted hours of time acting on that tip when they could have been doing a thousand more useful things. The problem with delusional bats offering "psychic" tips is that the police pretty much have to act on them, just in case the bats actually know something and are using claims of paranormal powers as cover.
Though horribly misleading, this method of headline-writing could probably do wonderful things for the Daily News Transcript's traffic. With that in mind, we've taken the time to come up with a few rewrites for current articles on the site, changing the first two words to anything we think will make you click:
Dustin Pedroia hurt in Norwood grease fire
World's astrophysicists: end may be near
Enormous boobies: take your pick
No need to thank us, Daily News Transcript.
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I was told there were going to be boobies here..?
Yes, they're over there....
(runs away)
I keep seeing those neon "psychic" signs in places like Sullivan Square. You'd think anyone with actual supernatural powers could have used them to, I dunno, not live in Sullivan Square anymore.
(Or maybe that whole Blade Runner ambiance is necessary to make psychic abilities work. Yeah, that's gotta be it.)
That's just priceless.. we could all use "help" like that sometime eh?
Along the same lines:
http://anthroslug.blogspot.com/2009/05/psychic-archaeologists.html
"Psychic Archaeologists"