Cambridge Cop Won't Apologize to Skip Gates, Opines in Third Person

"There are not many certainties in life, but it is for certain that Sgt. Crowley will not be apologizing," said Sergeant James "Arrestsalot" Crowley after Henry Louis Gates, Jr. kindly asked him to apologize for putting him in the cooler for four hours for the dubious crime of being a black college professor in his own house who also happens to possibly like yelling at white cops who are trying to arrest him for no reason. This was presumably before the President of the United States said that Crowley acted "stupidly."