Crasher Squirrel Invades Boston

Crasher Squirrel made her way to Internet meme stardom when a curious rodent popped up in the foreground a photo taken by Melissa Brandts and her partner on vacation. National Geographic displayed the image on its website, and Crasher Squirrel began making its way into all sorts of unexpected photos.


An afternoon at the Boston Public Library revealed that Crasher Squirrel has indeed worked her way into all sorts of important pictures of Boston's history.


Continue on for a selection of these images.

Crasher Squirrel was said to be a close associate of Crispus Attucks. One day, the two made their way to a protest of British colonial rule. They stayed together until weapons were drawn. Startled by the loud sounds heralding the first shots of the Revolutionary War, she ran away at the moment that Mr. Attucks was shot.








Squirrel Crasher watched from a nearby vessel as the Boston Tea Party went down.








Crasher Squirrel tried hard to intercept the hanging of Mary Dyer at an old oak tree on the Boston Common. Gnaw as she did, Crasher Squirrel was not able to liberate Mary Dyer from the rope before the Boston Brass liberated the Quaker from her mortal coil.










Crasher Squirrel only narrowly escaped drowning, along with dogs, horses, and humans, in the Boston Molasses Disaster. Without her unparalleled scampering technique, Crasher Squirrel may not be with us today. Even 90 years later, Crasher Squirrel emits a faint molasses-like odor on very hot summer days.









Some gay marriage advocates scoff at the idea that the legalization of same-sex unions in Massachusetts will result in humans marrying critters. Crasher Squirrel might just engage in such unions, legally as well as in other, even more unhallowed ways. Crasher Squirrel's got friends, too, so watch out!





Crasher Squirrel invaded the 2004 World Series, and managed to evade all security measures and arrive at Curt Shilling's badly injured ankle ligament. She chattered an ancient rodent healing chant, and smeared a healing paste of acorn and comfrey root onto the wound. Though the blood continued to seep through the sock, Shilling recovered enough to allow him to win the world series for the Red Sox.











The Bostonist encourages readers to send in any sightings of Crasher Squirrel.