Somerville Cat Just Won't Die

The Onion reports on a situation gripping the nation (or at least a part of Somerville): the cat that won't die. Nineteen-year-old Socrates has ulcers, kidney problems, and some kind of eye infection that presumably makes his peepers weep with wisdom. Gooey wisdom. Yet he keeps on keeping on. Of his cat's closest brush with death, owner Brian Pressman noted,

Luckily, the doctors figured out a treatment that only cost $2,700, and here we are today. Alive and well. Five years later. It's a miracle, all right.

Socrates, like an alarm clock, wakes his household at 6:00 am daily so they can administer him some of the medications that run the family over $200 a month. It's surely worth it for the knowledge this wise feline regularly bestows upon his people. Or was that vomit? Via Somerville Blog.