Christy Mihos - former wild-card candidate for governor, best known for running an animated ad showing Big Dig officials sticking their own heads up their butts – is co-chair of the Alliance to Protect Nantucket Sound, the group that vociferously opposes Cape Wind.

Recently, it looked like Mihos was stepping up to the plate with an actual alternative to the original Cape Wind plan, which would put turbines in Nantucket Sound. He volunteered the sites of his convenience stores as spots for wind turbines. Here's the details from the AP: "The turbines proposed for Mihos’ Hyannis store will rise 31 feet above the pavement, according to plans filed with the town. Each turbine would generate about 2,600 kilowatts per year."

Mihos proposed that three turbines be installed in the store's parking lot. Turbines are large, so either that gas pump island is enormous and the turbines are even bigger, or Mihos is setting up an elaborate practical joke. Wendy Williams, co-author of Cape Wind believes it’s the latter. She writes in an e-mail: "Let's do the math. One of Cape Wind's 3.6-megawatt turbines in Nantucket Sound would be equal to how many of Christy Mihos' 1.5-kilowatt toys? About 2,400. So to replace [Cape Wind force Jim] Gordon's 130-turbine project, Mihos would have to put up about 312,000 of his little jokes all around the Cape. And all those turbines would have to be put in locales with terrific wind speeds."

So a little turbine at the convenience store isn't going to do much for generating wind power. But it's good for a giggle. Williams says, "Every community needs a Falstaff to lighten things up – 'Tutto nel mondo è burla' -- and Christy is always keeping everyone in stitches."

True. Bostonist would gladly nominate Mihos to be one of the most entertaining individuals in the Boston area. Feel free to see Exhibit A, Exhibit B, and Exhibit C for proof. But, in all seriousness - even if Mihos' gesture is the equivalent of playfully sticking his tongue out at Cape Wind, it's more than the Kennedys have offered.

If ever there was grist for the Daily Show mill, it is the fight between the richies and the environmentalists over the proposed wind farm in Nantucket Sound. Finally, the Daily Show has aimed its laserlike focus on the Cape, and the results are tentatively scheduled to air Thursday, August 2.

The Daily Show selected Jason Jones, the correspondent most likely to take his shirt off, to send to the Cape. Brace yourselves for shots of a shirtless Jones sunning himself on a yacht or splashing around on a beach.

Individuals for and against Cape Wind were interviewed. The people for Cape Wind felt more comfortable with the Daily Show camera crew, although they may have been duped. Audra Parker, who is with the anti-Cape Wind Alliance to Protect Nantucket Sound, said of her Daily Show interview: "I wouldn't say it was pleasant."

Image of Jason Jones, the face no one with the Alliance to Protect Nantucket Sound wants to see, from the Daily Show site.

--Former Providence mayor Buddy Cianci, who teased Boston with the prospect of working in our fair city, is now officially off the blotter. He is out of the halfway home and back in the world. He's such a beloved local celeb that he's faced public speculation about whether or not he'll go back to a toupee, and an AP piece told the world that he dines on haddock with broccoli rabe.

So, anyone want to place a bet about how soon he'll be back in public office?

--The BPD picked up two guys who were carrying an AK-47 last night. The men originally attracted attention for a broken side mirror. When they were stopped, police smelled pot, the presence of which launched a search. During that search, they discovered an AK-47 hidden in the pants leg of a pair of jeans. An AK-47 and pot just doesn't sound like a good mix.

--Even scarier, the BPD took in a guy from South Yarmouth for stabbing another man in the head early this morning. Here's the BPD report:

Officers were informed that the suspect [Anthony Giangergario] called the witness on her phone and the victim answered the phone. A verbal exchanged occurred between the victim and the suspect. At that time the suspect smashed the bedroom window with a two by four and ran into the front door with a knife in his hand and stabbed the victim. The suspect fled the area in a grey vehicle.

Giangergario was later captured. The stabbing victim's injury was, in BPD parlance, "non-life-threatening."

--Brockton was the recent crime hotspot, but the heat has moved to Fitchburg. A pregnant woman was shot earlier in the week, and two more people were shot there last night. WBZ reported that Life Flight was called to the scene.

Elizabeth Crete, the pregnant woman who was shot, is still in critical condition. The Fitchburg Sentinel & Enterprise reported that the shooting may have started because her boyfriend was fighting with another guy about a dirt bike.

All charges alleged until proven under law.

Grace Metalious would be proud. Arlington always seemed kind of quiet and calm, but there's something bubbling under the surface. But principal Stavroula Bouris and teacher Chuck Coughlin at Ottoson Middle School are accused of turning the school into a hotbed of moral turpitude with their steamy e-mails.

The Globe reports that the principal and teacher exchanged "sexually inappropriate e-mails" while at work. The Arlington Advocate reported that one of the e-mails from Coughlin to Bouris said, "Hey beautiful. Want to get naked? Chuck." (We'll say this for Coughlin - he gets to the point.)

But that's not the end of it. What looked like the ordinary salacious goings-on in the teachers' lounge is turning into a power struggle.

The assistant principal and the head of the teachers' union are furious with Superintendent Nate Levenson because they feel Levenson, through his lawyer, tried to use the e-mails as leverage to fire the two. Levenson already tried to fire Bouris, as yourarlington reported back in March. But parents supported Bouris, and she kept her job.

Then the e-mails turned up. The school attorney is saying that another teacher who didn't like Bouris and Coughlin's behavior accessed the e-mails (uh, isn't that illegal?), but no one is naming this teacher. Suspicious minds might think that it's quite convenient these e-mails turned up when Superintendent Levenson already didn't like Principal Bouris.

But with all this attention going to the hanky-panky and political machinations at the middle school, has anyone prepared lesson plans for when the little ones return in the fall?

Image of Peyton Place soundtrack cover from soundtrackcollector.com.

--Yesterday in Boston, a federal judge declared the government must pay $101 million to Joseph Salvati, Peter Limone, and the families of Louis Greco and Henry Tameleo for a wrongful conviction with a Goodfellas-worthy storyline.

Here's the gist of the story. Someone killed Edward "Teddy" Deegan in 1965. Joseph "The Animal" Barboza said these four men did it – to protect an FBI informant, Vincent "Jimmy" Flemmi. So Barboza lied – and the FBI knew all along because they needed the informant. Salvati and Limone spent over 30 years in prison, and Greco and Tameleo died there.

US Judge Nancy Gertner had a lot to say about the FBI's choices:
The FBI knew his (Barboza's) testimony was false, but let perjury happen anyway," Gertner said. The FBI said the benefit outweighed the cost. To put it in current terms, these four men were collateral damage. Now is the time to say, without equivocation, this cost to these four men is not remotely acceptable.

--A shooting happened in Roslindale last night, and it's a little odd. The 26-year-old victim told police that someone dressed in a "ninja suit" broke into her home and shot her in the behind. She's expected to be okay.

--As if you didn't worry enough about Masshole drivers. Early this morning, a drain grate on Route 128 in Westwood came loose, flying toward the driver of a Toyota Corolla, injuring the driver and tying up traffic.

--A Big Brother volunteer is accused of sexually assaulting his 13-year-old Little Brother. He was arraigned Wednesday on multiple charges related to the case.

The Globe contacted Big Brothers Big Sisters of Massachusetts, and the chief executive vigorously defended the programs screening process and said that abuse with in the program happens "less than 10 times a year among the 200,000 pairs matched nationally."

--Whoever wrote the BPD blotter yesterday gets the award for Best Blotter Line Ever Until We See a Cooler One. This line involves a trespassing incident and a bag of weed: "As officers approached the building, the suspects ran down a footpath to Slayton Way and straight into the long arms of the law."

All charges alleged until proven under law. GoodFellas DVD cover from Amazon.

An aspiring convenience-store robber thought he found an easy target when he tried to rob a 7-Eleven while an old man was working the register during Tuesday's third shift.

But when the robber, 27-year-old Ricci Marshall Jr., leapt over the counter, 66-year-old Stephen Alpin came right back at him with a hammer and got him in a chokehold. A customer also helped out, but Alpin had Marshall well under control.

The owner of the convenience store said of his employee: "He was awesome, just awesome."

We have learned the lesson that, even if a person looks old, don't try it. Remember the grandpas who forcibly subdued a passenger who freaked out on a flight bound for Logan? Keep in mind they know they're getting older – they have something to prove and nothing to lose.

Marshall also isn't the brightest bulb. He'd just gotten out of jail and was still wearing his ID from the Middleton jail. Even though he managed to escape Alpin and his hammer, he took a dog with him to the robbery. The dog was left behind, so police just followed the dog right to where Marshall was staying.

All charges alleged until proven under law. WCSH of Maine has video.

--After the death of a prominent high-school athlete, the cycle of violence continues in Brockton. A teenager was shot on the street last night, and a 7-year-old was also injured in the scuffle.

A witness told the Globe that the unidentified teenager was shot four times at close range. WBZ reports that he is in critical condition and that it is believed the child got hit with a bullet fragment.

--A woman who is four months pregnant is in critical condition after getting shot in Fitchburg. 21-year-old Elizabeth Crete and 21-year-old Melvin Cabrera were fired upon last night when they were investigating the source of a car alarm. The captain of the Fitchburg police department said, "There are no suspects and no motives."

--In the Whoops! Department, yesterday afternoon a Stop & Shop truck somehow found itself parked on the railroad tracks – exactly when an MBTA commuter train was barreling toward it. Only the back of the truck was sitting on the tracks, so no one got hurt.

--If you want to steal a cell phone that's just laying out in the open, maybe you don't want to do it at the court house. Since it's a court house, they are equipped to deal with thieves. But Nasir Osman was at the Dorchester Court House, he saw a chance to steal a desk worker's cell phone, and he couldn't resist. The cousin of the cell phone owner called Mr. Osman, who unwisely picked up and unwisely said, "In order to get your phone back, it will cost you forty dollars.” A meeting was arranged, undercover officers showed up, and Mr. Osman was arrested.

All charges alleged until proven under law.

Correction: We had an image of James Albrecht, which we put in our standard top left (or right) corner for the Blotter. We've replaced it with crime-scene tape. As a commenter pointed out, the image and the headline have nothing to do with each other, and the positioning might cause someone to mix up the stories, so we replaced it. Apologies for any confusion.

--The hunt is on for a man who raped a 67-year-old woman in her own apartment in the Back Bay, near Clarendon and Columbus, yesterday. This person pretended to be maintenance. Once he was in the building, he got to the apartment and attacked her.

Here's the description via BPD:
The suspect is described as a dark skinned black male, approx. 30 years old, standing 5 ft. 7 in. with a medium build. He was last seen wearing a large pair of black-rimmed eyeglasses, a brown, button-down, short sleeve shirt with blue and gray stripes and gray sweatpants with a white drawstring. In addition, he is also reported to be missing three front teeth.

--An MIT student who was studying in New York City died last Sunday night, and his death spawned intense tabloid headlines such as "East Village Horror." 21-year-old James Albrecht fell three stories, and his body struck a ledge. Reports say Albrecht "may have been intoxicated" at the time of the incident. Gothamist notes that an investigation has been launched.

Albrecht was well-known on campus. He was the president of Baker House and an executive vice president of the MIT dormitory council.

--Two people from Massachusetts died in a sightseeing plane crash in Alaska yesterday. Paul McManus and Mary Ann McManus, of Cherry Valley, were in a plane with another couple and a pilot when it went down near the Misty Fjords National Monument. They had been on a Princess Cruise when they took the trip.

--As if there weren't enough problems with the state crime lab! The bungling at the state crime lab might delay the trial of Neil Entwhistle, who is accused of murdering his wife and their baby. The lab hasn't completed necessary tests to move ahead. Entwhistle's wife and child were found in January of 2006.

All charges alleged until proven under law.

--Since we got accused of having dirty minds with yesterday's post about the "penis for lunch" sign in Dedham, we wondered what you would think of a post about "illegal dumping." No, it's not that kind of dumping. Geez! We're not that bad.

Two men were caught dumping "carpeting, trash, and metal debris" in East Boston. The mayor announced that the city put surveillance cameras near the Chelsea Creek when it got too messy. If you see someone trashing your neighborhood with their old carpets and junk, call 617-635-5300.

--Imagine just driving along at rush hour, minding your own, looking up, and seeing a plane getting ready to land – maybe on you. It happened in Boxborough on 495 North when a small plane from Michigan ran out of gas.

No one got hurt. The pilot of the Cessna 170, Alan Kidd, said he couldn't get permission to land anywhere, so he did what he had to do and picked the highway. Why he didn't have gas or why he couldn't get permission to land is still unclear.

Two lanes of the highway were closed for two hours.

--Speaking of other weird things flying through the air, on I-93 a brake drum from a truck came off and went through the windshield of Justin Gatie, of South Weymouth. He is in the hospital in good condition.

--The BPD announced that a man who was assaulted in Mattapan on June 5 and who died on June 13 has been identified as 41-year-old Michael Hansbury, and the medical examiner says he died of "brain injury due to blunt head trauma."

--Thomas Shay, the alleged cross-dresser who allegedly ran amok and who was involved in a bomb that killed a BPD officer in 1991, has been sentenced to 33 months' worth of jail time for violating probation. The Herald writes that Shay was diagnosed with “pseudologia fantastica." Is that diagnosis for real?

--A Plymouth Marine will face a court martial on "murder, kidnapping, conspiracy, assault and other charges." Marine Sgt. Lawrence G. Hutchins III is accused of leading other soldiers in the murder of an Iraqi man who they thought was an insurgent. If he is convicted, he will serve a life sentence.

Image of a dump truck from CDC.gov.

--Now that will get your attention for sure! Some prankster hacked into a flashing electronic road sign and changed it to read "PENIS FOR LUNCH" instead of "ROAD CONSTRUCTION AHEAD" on Route 1. Please don't arrest this person. This person is funny. Apparently a lot of other people thought so, too, since the authorities didn't find out until later yesterday afternoon.

One transportation rep said, "Some people might see it as a joke, but this is a road that is traveled on by families and children and there are some people that don't find it funny." Maybe because the sign is next to a Toys 'R' Us. Oops.

All we're saying is that the rep should feel lucky the sign didn't display a Mooninite. News outlets were a little shy when discussing the sign. Fox 25 didn't think the public couldn't handle the word "PENIS," so they blurred it out. Even the Herald, which can be as gory and as naughty as it pleases sometimes, called "PENIS" a "certain part of the male anatomy."

--We just needed something from the lighter side after a rough weekend. The Globe has two intense stories about the lives of the late 21-year-old Samuel DoCanto, who was killed in Dorchester this weekend, and Jose Gurley, the high-school athlete shot to death in Brockton.

Both men had dreams that were cut short because the police can't seem to figure out how to get guns off the street. DoCanto just got a job and was at a party, apparently minding his own business and having a good time, when some idiot started shooting and hit him. As for Gurley, not only was he an amazing athlete, but he was going to be the first in his family to attend college. Unfortunately, now he is the second member of his family to die of gun violence.

--More trouble with guns and knives. The BPD blotter shows a 23-year-old arrested for firing three or four shots in Mattapan; someone got shot in the rear end in Dubois Street (two 18-year-olds arrested for that one); and someone was stabbed in the back on Lamartine.

Thank you to the anonymous commenter for the pointer to this picture from Rob Larsen, which we won't censor since we're not Victorian-era shrinking violets like the folks at Fox25.

--17-year-old Jose Gurley was shot and killed at Roosevelt Heights, a Brockton housing complex. He was a wide receiver and defensive back on the football team and also played basketball and ran track. The Enterprise reports that he was good at all three.

One witness suggested the gunfire broke out because one gang was trying to reclaim territory from another one.

--Another young man was much luckier after a shooting. A 21-year-old man got shot at Talbot Avenue. The BPD says his injuries are "non-life-threatening."

--A pedestrian got hit and killed by a car at Surface Road and Milk Street early in the morning on Saturday.

--A man drowned near the L Street Bathhouse yesterday afternoon. It's especially tragic because three other people tried to save him, but they couldn't.

--Two armed robberies unfolded yesterday - one at the Lil' Peach on West Newton early yesterday morning, and one at the Domino's Pizza yesterday afternoon. Why, oh why, must robbers keep picking on the pizza guy?

--While this isn't crime, per se, the next story definitely has something to do with the law. Red Sox slugger David Ortiz has more to worry about beyond his friend impersonating other people. A company is suing Ortiz for $1 million because he hasn't held up his end of a contract.

WCVB says that Ortiz was supposed to autograph 13,000 items and make public appearances on behalf of Steiner Sports Marketing, Inc. But the company claims Ortiz hasn't been picking up the pen, and he skipped some appearances. So they've enlisted the services of a lawyer.

--Yet another homicide has happened in Boston. Early this morning, police were called to Dorchester and found a 21-year-old who had been shot and who later died at the hospital.

--Yesterday, a jury convicted an Elvis impersonator of taking a machete to a friend who had overstayed his welcome in Revere in 2003. 71-year-old Robert Daigle and 39-year-old James Surette were drinking together, and then something went horribly wrong. Surette passed out, and Daigle stabbed him in the heart and took a machete to him 27 times. (Now this sort of thing is why the BPD is so sensitive about machetes!)

--A huge, eight-alarm fire swept through Bernat Mill in Uxbridge this morning. No one was seriously hurt, but, according to WBZ, "The fire was so massive, that crews were forced to pump water from the Blackstone River to douse the flames. According to town officials, that will create a water shortage for the next several weeks, and residents in the area are being asked to conserve."

All charges alleged until proven under law. Screengrab from Big Papi's Vitamin Water commercial. His contract with them have went more smoothly.

--Some hot dogs are just too hot to handle, at least in Franklin. Two women, Stacey Bower and Sonjalea Katz, were selling "hottie dogs," and the town commissioner stopped it because they didn't have the right permit.

The Milford Daily News has a picture of Katz and Bower. Their food van is indeed named "hottie dogs," and they are wearing tank tops, but we can't for the life of us understand what is so threatening about them.

Extra Blotter points go to the Daily News, which uses the phrase "peddling their wieners" in the article.

And if you want to know why "hottie dogs" are so special, they have BBQ sauce and onions.

--Follow-up to the really weird penis-stabbing that happened outside Z Square at Harvard Square. Z Square's owner, David Zebny, is saying that the victim's story doesn't add up. The victim stabbed, uh, "down there" is an employee at the restaurant, and, according to a Crimson report, he tied a tourniquet to his affected netherpart and waited two hours to call an ambulance. Stay tuned – stuff like this is bound to get weirder.

--It wasn't too hard for police to catch a guy who robbed the Citizens Bank on Washington Street. After he made his exit, police found him boarding an MBTA bus. Obviously, the guy knew very little about the slowness of MBTA buses.

--Early this morning, a drunk from Cambridge and a drunk from Revere attracted attention by peeing on a wall on State Street. So they're "whiz kids." That's perfectly normal. But they stood out because they proceeded to throw bottles at passing cars. That was not normal, and they became acquainted with the BPD.

--There is serious Blotter news out there, people. A judge has denied bail to Arnaldo "Nardo" Lopes, who stabbed Bobby Mendes to death in 1995 and created a cycle of violence in the local Cape Verdean community.

All charges alleged until proven under law. Image from a hot dog from Checkers.com Commons. Oh, how we wish we could have used the image of the Hottie Dog Wagon.

We thought Oldies dee-jays were cheerful types who spun the Bay City Rollers and favored loud colors. But Barry Scott, who has a show on Oldies 103.3, is furious with the Provincetown Police Department after they hassled him while he was at a P-Town birthday party on Saturday night.

Police say Scott was disturbing the peace because the music he was playing was too loud. Police officers told Scott to turn it down three times and told him to shut it off the last time. Scott made an announcement to the audience, and then the police swung into action, hurting Scott's nose, leg, and toe.

The chief issue at stake is whether or not Scott's announcement justified the physical response from the P-Town police. One witness told the Globe what Scott said:

Ladies and gentlemen, the Provincetown police have asked me to turn the music off, and they don't seem to like us very much, and at this point we don't like them very much. It is sad that homeowners and taxpayers in Provincetown cannot enjoy a birthday party in their own home.

That's actually polite compared to what he could have said when told to shut off the music.

EDGE Boston has a loooooong account of Scott's story. They also provide the P-Town PD's version of what Scott told his audience when the music died:

The Provincetown Police are here to ruin our night. We hate them.

Although the message is the same, the P-Town PD clearly had another interpretation of Scott's tone. One witness told EDGE Boston that Scott absolutely did not say the word "hate." Of Scott's injuries, the P-Town PD report also says Scott's "nose inadvertently came in contact with the external window frame." Another witness said that Scott repeatedly told police he wasn't resisting arrest.

Hmmm. So the next time someone socks you in the face, they can say your nose "inadvertently came in contact" with their fist. We weren't there, but that language is, well, awkward.

A GLAAD spokesman is looking into the matter to find out if it was a hate crime.

All charges alleged until proven under law. Image of Barry Scott from his profile page on 103.3 fm.

--Yesterday's Northeastern blotter item on the guy who used his roomie's closet as a urinal just opened the floodgates, so to speak. The BPD has posted the following hilarious headline: "Whiz Kid Arrested in East Boston." But the whiz kid wasn't so bright. He decided to empty his bladder in the middle of the street outside the Eclipse Tavern. He puts the "gross" in the charge of "open and gross lewdness."

--After getting into a fight with a woman over a South End parking spot, keying her car, and driving off, a man decided to relax by pulling over and rolling himself a blunt. But the time it took to roll said blunt gave officers plenty of time to catch up to him and get him on two charges – pot and keying of aforementioned car.

--A pit bull in Roxbury bit a five-year-old girl on the face. The Herald reported that the little girl was in the dog owner's home when she tried to pet the pit bull's young puppies, and the pit bull retaliated. The dog has been quarantined and may even be put to sleep. The owner was crying, and, based on the report, it seems that the owner was responsible and told the girl not to touch the dog, but childhood curiosity prevailed.

--Some boneheads tossed concrete chunks off an overpass in Lowell. Usually, in these kinds of stories, no one gets hurt, but drivers get pissed off thinking about what could have happened. This time, someone did in fact get hurt and had to have glass washed out of his eyes. Police are lookin' for teenagers.

--Elsewhere, 18-year-old Jacques Sellers was shot to death in a house in Hyannis last night. The gunshot came from outside the house, and the Cape Cod DA is saying it was deliberate.

All charges alleged until proven under law. Image of the much smarter "Whiz Kids," from the old TV show, from Wikipedia.

--We're not saying Northeastern University students like to urinate on stuff. But first it was the onions, and then it was the time-honored closet of the roommate. The NU crime log says,

An intoxicated 20-year-old male student walked into his roommate's bedroom in West Village A, urinated in his closet and returned to his own bed. He will be reported to the Office of Student Conduct and Conflict Resolution.

We just find it interesting that the roommate saw fit to call the police. Peeing on your roommate's stuff is merely a tradition and a method of marking your territory, right?

--Eenie-Meenie-Meinie-Mo. The BPD couldn't make up its mind when they thought they had a suspect for two of last weekend's Mattapan shootings. They picked up 19-year-old Tyshawn Woodley, but it turns out that he was busy talking to a gang-unit officer when the shootings happened.

--Speaking of boo-boos, Braintree firefighters who were on a training exercise cut holes in the wrong house. The house had been burned, and no one was living there, but the owners are understandably irritated. The house may look like a burned wreck, but, by golly, it's their burned wreck.

But the owners, the Luu family, isn't totally pissed off. Jeffrey Luu told the press, "Accidents happen." Now that's a nice guy! Shame that the roommate of the NU student with the peeing problem didn't have the same attitude.

--Late Monday night, someone in South Boston got shot in the wrist. The person who got hit said it was a drive by and didn't know the attacker. Police might look harder for the shooter because the victim ran past State Representative Brian Wallace's house, and Wallace knew the victim from the South Boston Pop Warner football league.

--A violent hold-up happened at a Nextel Store on Washington. A man with a shotgun threw a customer to the floor, busting her nose, and then he made the others inside go to the back. Luckily for them, he just took cash out of the register and left. Another suspect was also involved.

--A woman held up a bank in Braintree. She didn't show a weapon, but she said she would "hurt people" if the bank threw in a dye pack. They threw in a dye pack anyway.

All charges alleged until proven under law. Image of a bathroom with a can't miss target from Wikimedia Commons. Then again, plenty of people have missed once or twice. Image by Ulybug from London, UK.

--Adam Rich, the man who was killed in the now-infamous 6 House bar brawl, was allegedly involved in a hate-crime beating before he was killed. Rich was one of the suspects in a crime in which four white men beat up a white woman – the sister of one of the men - and her black boyfriend. Laurel Sweet at the Herald writes,

“You (expletive) (expletive), what you doing in Southie?” are among the epithets soldiers Thomas Browne, Robert Stone and James “Jimmy” Caparego are alleged to have hurled at Mattapan cook Ralph Beach Jr. as they were “punching,” “kicking,” “stomping” and “choking” him outside the Columbia Yacht Club, according to documents filed in the South Boston Division of Boston Municipal Court.

The others involved in the crime will be arraigned later this month. While this case and the 6 House brawl are clearly separate, information from one case about Rich might somehow impact the trial of Bernard Piscopo, who was arrested for stabbing and killing Rich – within a few hours of the first attack on Ralph Beach Jr.

--Police may have found the "MetroWest Rapist." A man who allegedly sexually assaulted women in Westborough and Hopkinton in 2003 was arrested in New Jersey last Friday.

Marcelo Mota is accused of assaulting women in that state, and investigators matched his fingerprints to ones found at the Massachusetts crime scenes.

--The Arsenal Mall in Watertown might have its name for a reason. This week's Watertown police blotter describes an 18-year-old girl trying to pass off a fake receipt as real giving police officers a mighty hard time. According to the Watertown Tab, Latresa Jones offered police a "fighting stance" and hit back at them. All because she wanted to score some cash off some unwanted Victoria's Secret perfume. The Arsenal Mall was also the site of a coke bust.

All charges alleged until proven under law.

Thomas Shay, cross-dresser and illegal masseur, has been caught. It must not have been all that hard since the feds caught him at his momma's house.

He had sent a letter to the Herald "taunting" investigators, which must have inflamed them even more since he was convicted of conspiracy in planting a bomb that killed one police officer and maimed another in 1991.

When the police got him yesterday, his family tried to hide him, but he was discovered asleep upstairs.

It's hard to explain Mr. Shay. After the conspiracy conviction, he kept getting into trouble when he got out. In 2005, he pretended to be a physical therapy student at Northeastern in order to get his mitts on male students. He had been rumored to be cross-dressing so the police wouldn't find him. The Globe noted that he was dressed like a man - or at least androgynously – in jeans and a jersey when he was caught.

Among other alleged and no-longer-alleged crimes, Shay can't spell. In his "taunting" letter, Shay said he was watching the feds through his "bonoculars."

All charges alleged until proven under law. Dressed to Kill from Answers.com.

A dad is accused of putting - or stuffing, depending on whom you believe - his daughters in a car trunk, only he says they were just playing. Michael Fekete, of Washington DC, took his two daughters and a trunk full of fun up to Massachusetts to visit his mom, who is in a nursing home in Foxboro. A witness saw Fekete packing his daughters into the trunk of his Chevy Cobalt – not a good idea on a hot day. Or on any day.

Fekete said his kids wanted to be in the trunk and that they were intrigued by the glow-in-the-dark release lever. We can imagine the little ones were thinking that hot, dark, steamy places are always fun!

According to the Sun Chronicle, Fekete's lawyer said that the kids "expressed curiosity about what it would be like inside." Given the heat, maybe the little ones wanted to play hot potato or pop some corn. But they are reported as being ages 9 and 11. That's a little big for wondering what it's like to hang out in the car trunk.

If Fekete's defense is true, then the hot weather must have fried a few brain cells.

All charges alleged until proven under law. SNL image of Dan Aykroyd as Irwin Mainway.

--The shootings of five people, including a 9-year-old girl, that took place in two different places in Mattapan on Saturday night may be related. Commish Ed Davis, who has been especially busy lately, referenced possible gang activity. The 9-year-old got shot in the back.

In sheer coincidence, one of the shootings interrupted yet another birthday party. We're not sure why birthday parties have gotten so dangerous, but some gun-toting, allegedly birthday-hating thug(s) popped off and shot people, and wrecked everyone's good time.

Rafael Nova, the brother of a 15-year-old who got shot, told the Globe: "You can't even go outside anymore." Apparently, you can't have outdoor birthday parties anymore, either.

--Speaking of parties, the driver of a crew of alleged pistol-packe