Stop & Shop Malden and everywhere $12.00/3 rolls A few weeks ago, Bostonist's mom called to announce that the Red Tide was upon us. It was officially Lobster Roll Season. "AND," she added, "did you know that Stop and Shop has fantastic lobster rolls? They make them right in the store out of real lobster meat. I just got a 3-pack and they're so good that I ate two of them at once. I'll save... [continue]

Planning a trip down the Northeast Corridor? Leave the Hitachi Magic Wand at home. Or say hello to the Fung Wah. According to WBZ News, Amtrak officials say that "mobile security teams" are poised to swoop, unannounced, into South Station and other train stations between Boston and D.C. and perform some bag-searching. Here's the proposed procedure: Randomly-selected passengers will enjoy a few squirmy moments as their carry-on bags are probed with a "special swab"... [continue]

Today from 12-6 PM, Dunkin' Donuts will be handing out free samples of their oven-toasted sangwiches in a "toasty tent" that has been erected at City Hall Plaza. If that were not enough excitement for ya, from 1-2 pm, preselected contestants and a few random people off the street will have an audience with Ted Lange and Bernie Kopell from the Love Boat (TOS). Isaac and Doc will serve as celebrity judges for a... [continue]

UPDATE: Nevermind. The map we looked at this morning clearly said Huck won Salem in their Republican primary. (And yes, we haveth witnesses.) Now the same map says that Mitt Romney has actually won the Republican vote in Salem. This is obviously a case of witchcraft at work. Is it a coincidence that the only Massachusetts city to give the majority vote to Huckabee in the Republican primary was Salem, our Commonwealth's -- lo,... [continue]

Charlie Card machines throughout the MBTA service area completely crapped out at rush hour. The system crashed intermittently for five to seven minutes at at time. Nothing like not being able to add value to your card on the first of the month, is there? Some T employees left one gate wide open like a hooker, realizing that things were going to get all Gattica fast if they didn't. And, what did the little... [continue]

Bostonist has uncovered an underground society of lifelong Bostonians who totally hate football and do not give a rat's hairy, dreadlocked behind about the NFL Superbowl, The New England Patriots, or Tom Brady. Even more shocking: Bostonist has confirmed that several locals know only two facts about Patriots superstar quarterback Tom Brady, which they learned from US Weekly magazine: a) he is dating Giselle, and b) he recently had a baby with another woman,... [continue]

Holy moly! An MBTA driver suffered a medical emergency and lost control of the 119 Northgate - Beachmont bus in Revere this morning. According to the Globe, the bus hit a parked car, three utility poles, a fire hydrant, a fire box, a tree and the sign for St. Mary's Church before skidding across a lawn and finally stopping against a guard rail. Not for nothin', that's wicked scary. Speaking of St. Mary, it was... [continue]

It's 8:30 am on a very crowded MBTA subway car. Goof: Excuse me. Ho: Hmph. (Ignores.) Goof: I'd like to sit there. Ho: Excuse me? Goof: I'd like to sit there. (Pantomimes a lame threat to sit on the seat occupied by the ho's huge Louis Vuitton bag.) Ho: Ex-cy-use me! (Dramatically moves the bag, exuding pure hatred.) Goof: (From his seat, gloating) Welcome to the T! Ho: Your bref stinks. Ho: Hmph. 'Welcome... [continue]

The drawbridge between Beverly and Salem has been stuck as wide open as Elly May's top blouse button since 7:15 this morning. MBTA spokesman Joe Pesaturo says the bridge's gearbox aint right no more and they need to rustle up a new one. Salem/Rockport Line Commuter Railers must load up the truck and head to Beverly until further notice. That means a dreaded shuttle bus home for y'all tonight. Dang! Update: Joe Pesaturo sent along... [continue]

If Amtrak workers follow through on threats to strike nationwide on January 30, Boston commuters of all stripes will find themselves deeply embedded in a giant snowball of crappiness. If you take the Commuter Rail, you'd better come up with a Plan B -- fast. During an Amtrak strike, South Station and the Providence/Stoughton line would basically shut down until it's all settled. Not so smug, everyone else, because you're screwed, too. If South... [continue]

Something wicked, wicked gross has been going on at North Station for the past week: every time a Green or Orange Line car heads into the station, the little people on the platforms are blasted with a powerful, cold gust of pure stink. Some speculate that the Ghosts of The Garden Toilets Past have arisen from the bowels of the earth because the Celtics don't suck for the first time since the 80s. Others say... [continue]

A barge busted up a bridge so there is no MBTA Commuter Rail service between Salem and Beverly. Newburyport/Rockport line that is. Image courtesy vintageplayhouse.com... [continue]

In Boston, a commemorative plaque is mounted on every other building, tree and rock... and we're proud of it, b'gum'! We just checked the historic museum gift shops and the coast is clear of tourists, stoners and field-trippers until February vacation. Here are a few gift ideas for the history buff (or the ignorant). The people at Historic New England do not mess around. We're getting misty about their spectacular historic photos of Boston. Their... [continue]

If you see something, say something! Especially if it's a middle-aged man with white hair and a long beige coat packing a newspaper and an exposed pee-pee. For the past several months, a man fitting the above description above has been getting grabby and flashy with high school students on the Green "E" Line between Brigham Circle and Government Center. Oh, man -- skeee-eee-eeeve. If you have any info about the Green Line Groper...... [continue]

According the MBTA inspector we stalked into the Dunkin' Donuts at Haymarket Station, the Orange Line was shut down from Back Bay to North Station all morning because "a car tipped over at Chinatown." When pressed for more info, the inspector only added, "everything's cleared up now." Offers to trade him a donut for more scoop nearly resulted in a Star Simpson style escort out of the area. Sorry. We're not cute enough to...... [continue]

This is how it's done, guys. High fives! In honor of the release of Halo 3, pranksters from MIT dressed up the statue of John P. Harvard in Harvard Yard with an assault rifle and a Spartan Helmet. Story from From neatorama.com... [continue]

Star Simpson, a 19-year-old MIT sophomore from Hawaii, was arrested at gunpoint this morning for sauntering into Logan Airport with a fake bomb strapped to her chest. Crazy biotch wore a computer circuit board, wiring and putty (actually Play-Doh) over a black hooded sweatshirt. The Globe added that she was on her way to Terminal C to meet her boyfriend. On Simpson's personal webpage, she writes, "In a sentence, I'm an inventor, artist, engineer,...... [continue]

Say "au revoir" to the emergency small coffee at Au Bon Pain, T riders. The Cambridge Chronicle reports that starting this week, the MBTA will open their super-secret bathrooms to the public at Central, Harvard, Porter and Alewife stations. At the request of Cambridge City Manager Bob Healy, the T has has agreed to allow public restroom access at those stations for one year, as part of a pilot program. In other words, if...... [continue]

Chin up, MIT ladies. Yeah, it was rough hearing that you were explicitly not invited to Harvard's Final Club thingie. There is someone special for you somewhere out there... maybe in this car! No guarantees that he's not "Asian, overweight, or unattractive," to quote an infamous Harvard Man who is not associated with Bostonist in any way, but at least he's probably a robot.... [continue]

Sorry, Boy Britney - you are too old for Final Club. Plus, you are a boy. Update: A kind tipster e-mailed us the text of the craigslist post but forgot to mention that it came from Sex and the Ivy, whose eagle eye caught it first. And, besides, how can you resist a blog with the tagline "The Bleeding Heart Nympho's Guide to College Life"? The following ad has been pulled from Craigslist, but...... [continue]