The tag line for Chuck E. Cheese is "Where a kid can be a kid." It should be amended to say, "Where a kid can be a kid, and where an adult can be an asshole." Massachusetts just came one harrowing step closer to getting its own FARK tag with this tale of two moms who duked it out at a Chuck E. Cheese in Natick. The moms started fighting during a child's birthday party......

Our junior Senator, John Kerry, was on a tour of Afghanistan yesterday when bad weather forced the helicopter he was in to make an emergency landing in a stretch of mountains. He had to wait for three hours, while protected by troops on the ground and a F-16 overheard, until a US convoy was able to take him back to an air base. Kerry was traveling with fellow Senate Foreign Relations Committee members Joe......

Music --The Willows bring to the Middle East Upstairs a brand of Americana country rock inspired by the seasonal carnival scene up in Salem. Alas, no salt water taffy is included in the price of admission. With The Vic Morrows, The Resonance, The Giant Melons. Middle East Upstairs, 472 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, doors 9:00, 18+, $8. --While the show has been sold out for weeks, if there's any way you can get in we......

Republican presidential aspirant and former Massachsuetts governor Mitt Romney is the projected winner of the state of Massachusetts over John McCain this Super Tuesday, according to CNN. And that victory was by no means a given since Romney didn't exactly leave Massachusetts wanting more. However, Romney is still fighting for states, and Mike Huckabee (plus buddy Chuck Norris) is racking up enough votes that neither one can catch up to the front-runner, John McCain. Huckabee......

A very brief Redux today, since we're saving our best stuff for the YouKnowWhat XLII Live-Blog, which will start around 5:30 (not 7:30 as we earlier reported). The Bruins played well, but you have to play a perfect game to beat Detroit, and they didn't. Milan Lucic made a sweet steal that set up a Chuck Kobasew goal to take a 1-0 lead, but the Red Wings battered and battered and finally got to Tim......

Today, we're not going to talk about YouKnowWhat XLII. Because there's nothing to talk about. Today, we're going to celebrate two big wins from our two local winter teams. (We will remind you, however, that we'll be live-blogging YouKnowWhat XLII starting 7:30ish on Sunday. Get your commentin' fingers in shape.) The Celtics were facing maybe their toughest test of the season so far. There have been Negative Nellies all over the land saying that the......

Celebrity sightings in New Hampshire were common. For example, the ubiquitous Chuck Norris was with Mike Huckabee, and Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins were with John Edwards. And we all know about "Cooter." However, the New York Times was privy to a few wacky rumors: One man telling his friend that Curt Schilling, the Boston Red Sox pitcher, had been in the state campaigning for Senator John McCain. The friend then said he had also......

Update: No winner for the Democrats yet, which makes CNN look bad because they were calling it for Obama all day. But, even more embarrassing, Rudy Giuliani is thisclose to getting beaten by Ron Paul, 9% to 8% as of 10:00 pm. Update to the Update: CNN has projected Hillary Clinton as the winner of the New Hampshire primary, a huge comeback after Iowa. (The "Iron My Shirt" dudes can stuff it.) Obama wasn't far......

Former Massachusetts governor and political aspirant Mitt Romney faces one of his greatest challenges with the New Hampshire primary. After coming in second in Iowa to the Mike Huckabee/Chuck Norris ticket, he is an underdog in a race that should have been a breeze for him since he governed in Massachusetts. Even though Massachusetts wasn't exactly thrilled with him when he left, he was still a familiar name and could have scored votes on that......

Today Republican presidential candidate/Iowa caucus winner/Romney rival Mike Huckabee faced a heckler who clearly forgot that where there's Huckabee, there's Chuck Norris. The man had a right to speak, but, as Charlie Savage writes, he wouldn't shut up and kept yelling, "Why is Richard Haass, the president of the Council of Foreign Relations, your political adviser?" Then Huckabee unveiled his not-so-secret weapon and said, "Don't make me send Chuck back there!" Chuck Norris still......

The political epicenter has shifted from Iowa to New Hampshire, right next door. The state is erupting in general chaos as the politicians who are still in the race are fighting for attention. Every reporter, pundit, talking head, and his or her brother is in town. Eventually, New Hampshire might regret rolling out the red carpet for some of them. Bill O'Reilly just had a massive hissy fit at Nashua North High and attempted to......

Emily Sweeney at the Globe did a great piece on a local guy with ">an unusual hobby--barf bags. Most barf bags are plain, white, and discreet, but one guy relishes collecting the snazzier unused barf bags and posting them online. Steven J. Silberberg, from Hull, runs the Air Sickness Bag Virtual Museum. (Love the euphemism "air sickness.") He began his hobby in 1981 and now has 2,037 bags, all lovingly detailed and cataloged on the......

Update: Deval Patrick can rest easy. Obama took 38% of the Iowa caucus vote. For some reason, Bostonist couldn't get Huey Lewis' "If This Is It … Please Let Me Know …" out of their head while watching the Iowa caucus returns on CNN. So many middle-tier candidates will get their rejections over with tonight. CNN and Fox News projected early that Mike Huckabee won the Iowa caucuses with a come-from-behind victory that had little......

Ten members of the Teamsters Local 25, who are trying to unionize the FW Russell Disposal Company, were arrested yesterday after a clash with police in Somerville. The Teamsters were picketing the company and had padlocked the gate. Police were summoned, but what is striking is how many police were summoned. The Somerville Journal notes: "Somerville Police were backed up by Northeastern Massachusetts Law Enforcement Council (a regional force from other cities) which includes a......

Matt Viser at the Globe did a report today on how a few South Boston residents are hogging parking spots with chairs, trash barrels, and whatever is laying around. The city of Boston explicitly states that a person can save his or her spot for 48 hours after a storm. After that, it becomes hogging. 48 hours seems perfectly reasonable. Maybe even three days if the storm is bad. But anyone unwilling to give......

This is probably like preaching to the choir because of course all Bostonist readers promptly shovel their sidewalks. But, in light of City Councilor Chuck Turner's claim that he wasn't going to shovel his sidewalk because people in his neighborhood didn't walk on them (!!!), it's even more important to shovel because the disabled are having a hard time getting around. Andrea Estes at the Globe does some old-school citizen journalism on the Neighborhood......

Some City Councilors have complained about the mayor's blame game regarding the snowstorm, but one city councilor might be contributing to the problem. WBZ sent cameras to Chuck Turner's house in Roxbury, where his sidewalk wasn't shoveled. It gets better. Turner said that he's not going to shovel it and "claims people in his neighborhood don't use sidewalks." Well, where do they walk, then? Do they float? If a sidewalk is on the street, it's......

Unofficial leaked lists started hitting the Internet late this morning. Fearful and optimistic at the same time, we started scanning them to see who was allegedly going to be on the MLB Steroid Commission's "Naughty" list. But then the 400-page PDF report arrived in our browser, and some of the worst rumors turned out to be just rumors. The most popular list circulating this morning named Jason Varitek, Trot Nixon and Julian Tavarez. None of......

Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee is gaining appeal among Republicans thanks to his hard-right views, his ability to lose weight, and Chuck Norris. Obviously, this has former Massachusetts governor and presidential aspirant Mitt Romney thoroughly freaked out because Romney has spent boodles of money and has less to show for it. All Huckabee had to do was lose weight and gain an action star. Hence, Romney has unleashed an attack ad. However, we think Romney......

Since Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling is sticking around Boston and it's campaign time, he's dipping his toe into the waters of politics again by endorsing Republican John McCain for president. Having Schilling near New Hampshire must make McCain feel a little better. In New Hampshire, he can compete with Mike Huckabee, who is on the rise thanks to an endorsement from Chuck Norris. When it comes to tough guys with a political bent to......

TO: The Rest of the NBA (address not shown) FROM: The Little Nine (littlenine@celtics.com) RE:Remember Us? --- Hi everyone. It's the Little Nine here. You know, the "supporting cast" that was going to be the one thing holding the "Big Three" back from romping all over the NBA this year? Almost to a man, the papers and the Internet said that Pierce, Allen and Garnett would play well, but they had no support and no......

Pundits, talking heads, and peanut galleries in general have sat back and digested Massachusetts governor and political aspirant Mitt Romney's "I Am Mormon, Hear Me Roar" speech. Reactions range from underwhelmed to slightly less underwhelmed. Christopher Hitchens took some time out from getting his body waxed to call it "windy" and "boilerplate." The Globe said it was "tactically astute," but that Romney shut out non-religious and non-Christian audiences, despite his brief shoutout to those of......

That's right; we almost had to go in the closets for a rare winter activation of the Panic Button. The Patriots were struggling on offense, dropping passes left and right. The defense really struggled, allowing Raven Willis McGahee to run amok for three quarters. Don Shula was up in the booth with corkscrew in hand. But somehow, the game stayed close. And Tom Brady had a chance to go up the field with 3:30 to......

We've praised the Celtics up and down over the course of 14 games. Given the fact that they won - again - on Friday night, this time defeating Shaq and the Miami Heat, we're going to give them the Belichick once-over. You know, give 'em a taste of what Randy Moss and Tom Brady deal with every week. You guys feeling good? Feeling confident because you beat Miami by 10 points? A 95-85 win, fellas.......

As tempting as it would have been for the Bruins to come out swinging last night, playing back the Flyers for Patrice Bergeron's concussion, that's not how they roll. And they needed the two points even more than they needed the visceral satisfaction of seeing the Flyers laid out like the wounded soldiers in Gone With the Wind. The 6-3 shellacking wasn't exactly a tea party, though. Defenseman Andrew Alberts left the game after a......

No matter how old we get, the more we get a kick out of the immature, downright gleeful sensation of zinging another city's team. Case in point: Toronto on Tuesday night. The Maple Leafs hosted Boston, who in turn officially introduced the NHL to Tuukka Rask. Rask, a mere cub at 20 years of age, then made 30 saves and led the Bruins to a 4-2 victory over the Leafs. The zinger? Bruins fans know......

Celtics coach Doc Rivers would have been entitled to skip last night's game in New Jersey. Spending the day at his father's funeral, 1000 miles away from the Meadowlands, he was fully prepared to call it a day and watch his team on TV. But his mom told him that Dad would have wanted him on the sideline, so Doc caught a charter flight and walked into the C's locker room an hour before game......

Boston city councilors Stephen Murphy and John Connolly aren't the only ones who have to learn how to get along. City councilor Chuck Turner, he of the stunning goatee, will also need to learn how to get along with Northeastern University, or vice versa depending which side you're on. Before the city council elections, Turner was angry with the school for not treating the neighborhood he represents with enough respect. He didn't mince words on......

Boston residents have two elections today--one for District 9 (Allston-Brighton) and one for the at-large city council position. Here's the rundown by District: District 3: Michael Cote is running against incumbent Maureen Feeney. District 4: J.R. Rucker is running against incumbent Charles Yancey. District 7: Carlos Henriquez is running against incumbent Chuck Turner. District 9: Gregory Glennon and Mark Ciommo are running for an open seat. And then there's the at-large election for four open......

It's hard to work up a frenzy against the Cleveland Indians. They seem like a bunch of polite, plucky kids who we'd be pulling for in almost any other circumstance. Gone are the enemies of the mid-to-late-90's: villains like Roberto Alomar and Manny Ramirez. Gone are the mockable stars of that magical 1988 team: colorful characters like ex-con Rick Vaughan and voodoo worshipper Pedro Cerrano. Trot Nixon, who you may remember as one of the......