The Globe reports that a man was forced to cut his morning swim short today when it was discovered that he was in Boston Harbor. The Coast Guard intercepted the man, who had dived into the Harbor at Rowe's Wharf, and forced him out of the water with two high speed boats. Bostonist knows that the tourists are thick on the ground over by the waterfront this time of year, but there must be a......

--The Coast Guard reined in a 933-foot tanker that broke down off the coast of Cape Cod. The tanker held liquefied natural gas, but the Coast Guard said it didn't leak any. [Boston Globe] --Soon after an accident in which an elderly driver struck a child while he was on his way to vote in Randolph, State Sen. Steve Baddour is campaigning to boost tests for all drivers "throughout their driving careers." [Boston Herald]......

--Handheld red laser beams can be a lot of fun, but a guy from Medford with a laser beam caused a ruckus on Saturday night when he pointed his beam at a State Police helicopter. The State Police swiftly summoned themselves, the Coast Guard, the Medford Police Department, and the Somerville Police Department to find the person. The feds are investigating. --The man who is accused of being the "Green Line Groper" has pled not......

--Preliminaries: Tuesday, October 9, Comedy Connection, Faneuil Hall, 7:00 and 9:00 pm --Preliminaries: Wednesday, October 10, Comedy Connection, Faneuil Hall, 7:00 and 9:00 pm --Urban Comedy Showcase: Wednesday, October 10, Roxbury Center for Arts at Hibernian Hall, 8:00 pm --Semi-Finals: Thursday, October 11, Nick's Comedy Stop (Upstairs), 8:30 pm --Semi-Finals: Friday, October 12, Nick's Comedy Stop (Upstairs), 8:30 pm Now that we've warmed up, we'll get right to last night's results. For more on how......

Seattlest watches as a S.L.U.T. is born and Seattle Flickr users go nuts over a local art installation. A restaurant critic demands a Diner's Bill of Rights over a gnat next to her drink, and, in lieu of a Portlandist, Seattlest debates with itself over the identity of the Northwest's crown jewel. Seattlest also joins the guys from Fantagraphics for an ill-fated gun party in the woods. LAist saw national headlines soar this week with......

--A deadly car crash happened early this morning on Blue Hill Avenue. One person died, and three people, including a child and a baby, went to the hospital in critical condition. The baby was in a car seat, but it was thrown from the car. Road rage allegedly caused the crash, and police have arrested 28-year-old Jason Bailey. He is being charged with "Leaving the Scene Personal Injury, Leaving Scene resulting in One Death, Operating......

At 7:30 this morning, two MBTA commuter ferries, "Massachusetts" and "Laura," collided in the Reserved Channel. Neither boat took on water and no one was hurt. "Massachusetts," headed from Hingham to Boston, carried 171 passengers. Only four crew members were on "Laura," which was making the return trip from Boston to Hingham. The reverse commute to Hingham in the morning is a lonely one. According to Coast Guard Petty Officer Zach Zubricki, the crash is......

--New England Patriots player Marquise Hill died last night after a jet ski accident. While jet skiing in Lake Ponchartrain, Louisiana, he and a woman "hit a wave and fell off." Hill, a defensive end, rescued the woman, who couldn't swim. He got her to a pylon, but then he vanished as a boat tried to reach him. Numerous agencies tried to find him, but, unfortunately, the Coast Guard called off the search for Hill......

--Smoke filled a Boston University lab yesterday morning, prompting an evacuation. This wouldn't have been such big news if it weren't for the biomedical lab's experiments on infectious "rabbit fever." The Globe proved it was a master of understatement with the following sentence: "[The incident renews] concern about the danger of studying potentially deadly pathogens in a densely populated area." No kidding. --The BPD held a press conference to help find missing sailor Dustin Willis.......

Attorney General Martha Coakley announced today that the Boston area cut a deal with Turner Broadcasting and Interference, Inc., the brains behind the marketing campaign for Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theatres that made life in Boston a little nutty last week. Boston will receive $2 million dollars for its trouble. In return, Turner Broadcasting and Interference won't face charges. Here's the basic breakdown - $1 million goes to reimbursing state and......

The Coast Guard is looking for another Massachusetts boat lost at sea. The Lady Luck, which was off Maine, sent a distress signal and hasn't been heard from since. An absolute monster killed a seal with a shotgun blast. A spokesman from the New England Aquarium told the Globe, "This was not any great hunting. This was somebody who took aim, probably from a relatively short distance, at an animal who had no fear of......

Someone out there thinks he's too good to pick up his dog's poop. On Saturday night, a woman called the BPD after getting into an altercation with a guy who didn't clean up after his dog. He then went on to declare that he lives in a home valued above $1 million, and that he was offended at the apparent lack of a Resident Parking Sticker on the victim’s vehicle. Caller states that he then......

Two teenagers were stabbed at the Savin Hill T stop. They're going to be fine, but the police haven't caught the assailants. A tragedy unfolded in Lexington following a car accident. On Friday, two brothers were riding together when their car crashed, rolled, and struck a tree. One brother died. The other brother who was driving the car may be facing charges because police say alcohol was a factor. The Coast Guard found the boat......

A dead body turned up in Dorchester yesterday afternoon. While they hadn't confirmed it as of this posting, the BPD thinks the body may be that of Warren Daniel Hairston, whose family had reported him missing. The Coast Guard is searching for a missing boat and the four fishermen on board in Nantucket Sound. The "Lady of Grace" didn't arrive when expected, all communications with the boat dried up, and the Coast Guard found an......

Let's take a look back at a week that raised this Zen koan: if Kevin Federline got into a wrestling ring with a wrestler, who would you root for? Austinist was in an entertainment state of mind as they covered the dickens out of the Austin Film Festival, depicted all the Big 12 football coaches as South Park characters, and interviewed Jose Gonzalez. Chicagoist talked about the passion as they bid adieu to Bell's......