--The MBTA put out its most recent crime statistics. The good news is that "Part I" crimes (homicide, rape, robbery, larceny) are down by 10%, and the most violent crimes are down 18.5%. "Part II" crimes (simple assault, vandalism, and the grab-bag that is "Disorderly Conduct") are up by 12%. Larceny is the most common "Part I" crime, while fraud is the most common "Part II" crime. [Full presentation at MBTA Police] --Police have officially......

--Meet Dirus Gaines, a man with an iron constitution. Mr. Gaines' seemingly lifeless body was found by the railroad tracks on Wednesday afternoon in Framingham. Gaines exhibited all the signs of being dead – no movement, eyes rolled back in head, odd position of body. Then, Gaines "suddenly" awakened and displayed his beverage of choice, a bottle of blackberry brandy. And here's the best part – Gaines is awfully lively when he's not completely pickled:......

--An alleged Bad Seed brought out the "Never a Good Idea" line from the BPD, and this time they wrote, "Disrespecting Mother Never a Good Idea." On Thursday in Roxbury, a 13-year-old suffered a case of hormones from hell. She was, according to the report, "swearing and throwing objects" at her own mother, and she kept on with that behavior when the police arrived at the scene. (The 13-year-old is allegedly not the sharpest tool......