We don't watch Wheel of Fortune any more - once they started spotting people five letters in the bonus round, the thrilling intellectual pursuit seemed to be missing. But we remember from childhood the portion of the show where the winning contestant got to pick out their winnings; the disembodied head floated in the upper-left corner of the screen, smiling and beaming as the camera panned all the marvelous prizes up for grabs. Which is......

Our long national nightmare is over. The polls are closed, the kind of people who care about this can cheer or mourn, and the rest of us (who think it's kind of ridiculous) can have a quick item to note on the offday between games 1 and 2. That's right, Red Sox Nation (shudder)! Jerry Remy is your new President! Deadspin has the best artistic take on the whole silly, silly business. It's still better......